202524

Joke of the Day

"How many dead prostitutes we need to change a lightbulb ? Certainly not three, because in my basement is still dark."

"'Nothing like a real book' I say 'The scent, pages between my fingers- cracking the spine!' My tree girlfriend's parents sway uncomfortably"

"Coming Soon Jason Statham is a reluctant thief with a heart of gold *cue explosion* PUNCH McEXPLODEY CAR MAN *fade to black*"

"Dear guy sitting next to me at the bar wearing camouflage: I can still see you."

"North Korean leader Kim Jong-un got married. Proving there's someone for every un."

"I heard PAX and Comic Con won't be merging after all... They wanted to avoid so much.... con-fusion."

"What goes into something hot hard and covered in plastic and comes out soft and wet A frozen pizza with its wrapper left on"

"An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable. You can always count on one."

"Dark jokes are like Malaysian Airlines flights They're either hit or miss."

"When ever I make Eggs Benedict, I always serve it on a hubcap. Cause there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."