92065

Joke of the Day

"I think my coffee pot is an alcoholic It gets drunk at least once a day even when no one else is around"

"How strict is the ""I licked it, it's mine"" policy? There's some things I've licked that I don't want."

"Whats the best part about fingering a gypsy on her period. You get your palm red for free."

"I saw a guy with antlers on his car, so I shot it."

"I had to go into the Dr's today for a regular check up, & I get in there & he pulls down my pants & started jamming his finger in my ass... Yea I guess it's time for a new dentist"

"Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out ""Is anyone there?"" I've seen the movies...those people always die!"

"Anyone that says there are no stupid questions has never had to explain to a 5 year old why there are no pink bananas 267 times today."

"[calls up friend] Remember when you said I wouldn't ever make it on TV? Well turn on the news! ""Okay, but why are you calling from jail?"""

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says ""hey, we don't serve your kind here"". The mushroom says ""why not? I'm a 'fungi' Bam, you've all been PUNNED!"

"A friend and I walked past an Alzheimers Society. He turned to me and said ""How do they remember where it is""?"