202440
Joke of the Day
"I was going to make a dick joke, but it's harder than I thought."
Next Joke
"Why don't feminists carry handguns? Because of the triggers"
"Wife: Let's go outside. 3-year-old: No! The deer will eat me. Wife: Deer don't eat people 3: The zombie ones do Wife: Get your dad. Now."
"I've got a new job crushing fizzy drinks cans... It's soda pressing [Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/6lWz2UD.jpg)"
"So cats CAN'T fend for themselves for 4 weeks after all. Even though I left mini frozen pizzas, cash for emergencies and my mobile number."
"I bought shampoo for ""badly behaved"" hair. So relieved my hair will finally stop robbing banks and terrorising old ladies."
"I was sitting on a bus in Thailand across from a beautiful young lady. My shorts were a little tight and I was thinking, don't get a boner, don't get a boner... But she did."
"How did the sad clown smile and laugh again? They told him his wife died recently."
"More tattoo artists really just need to say ""No, I'm not doing that."""
"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his whole family"