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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish a race"

"A feminist told me I really need to take a Women's Studies class. I told her ""There is no way I'm going to spend a semester studying a broad."""

"Saw a cow jump over a barbed wire fence today... It was udder destruction."

"DAD: You're adapted. SCREENPLAY: What?!"

"Me: What did she say about me? Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that? Too many questions? Really? Me? ...What else?"

"Santa, Tooth Fairy, easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde.. are all around a $100 bill, who gets it? The dumb blonde, because the rest are all imaginary..."

"Why did the socialist drop out of high school math? Because there were too many damn inequalities."

"A pregnant pause is like a regular pause but it doesn't have a period."

"The boss accused me of taking a drink during lunch, but he is completely mistaken, I paid for all three of them."

"What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date? Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!"