202370
Joke of the Day
"Getting colagen injections in my lips next week 'cause, you know, 'tis the season to be Jolie."
Next Joke
"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, Awesome, now we're both barking"
"Eating that peanut butter cup was better than sex. Believe me, sex with a peanut butter cup isn't that great. They're selfish lovers."
"If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board."
"Daughter: dad Im a lesbian Dad: Okay its cool 2nd daughter: dad I'm a lesbian too Dad: Does ANYone in this family like guys? Son: I do"
"Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate."
"My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that but it's also terrible."
"sapnu puaS Read it upside down"
"Hitler has heard that the Americans have liberated Normandy Hitler: It's over Eva. Everything's a disaster. We might as well call this Disaster Day. Eva: Why not just call it D-Day?"
"I set my kid's dollhouse on fire then asked: DO YOU HAVE INSURANCE?! DOES BARBIE HAVE AN ESCAPE PLAN?! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! Life lessons"