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Joke of the Day

"If you're in love with 2 people, pick the second one, If you really loved the 1st, you wouldn't have fallen for the 2nd."

"Manute Bol walks into a bar And says ""The highballs are on me!"""

"Did you hear about the Psychic midget that escaped prison? He was a small medium at large."

"""Oh no. We dripped cheese dip on the cat. I'll get it"" *she grabs a shirt* ""Hey don't use that!"" *hands her a chip*"

"In lieu of the recent manhunt... The LAPD's motto is ""to protect and serve."" I think they ought to change it to ""We'll treat you like a King."""

"Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?"

"Why did the football player tackle the phone booth? To get his quarter back! Hahahahahha"

"""Come together, right now, over me."" -Beatles lyrics or gangbang dialogue"

"One Wish If I was a governor the first thing I'd do, is make having a family garden an excessive tax write-off: and I'd have the most beautiful state ever."

"like people say things like 'tuna fish' but not 'duck bird' or 'dad father'"