202293

Joke of the Day

"I have a hard time believing an auto dealer really wants my business if their entire lot isn't covered in the shade of helium balloons."

"YES! Some of the breast augmentation websites aren't blocked at work! SWEET FREEDOM!!!"

"*skydiving* Jumper: Where's your parachute? Married Guy: Don't need one J: There's no chance of survival MG: Not trying to beat the odds"

"I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that's super easy for me to remember: InsufficientFundsContactYourBank00.00"

"Why is it difficult to pan for gold in Somalia? Because pyrites arrrrrr everywhere"

"If you`re not going to help me break into my ex`s house to delete the hysterical message i left on his answerphone,then you`re not my friend"

"I'll never know if those cookies will give me super powers or not unless I eat some."

"Have you ever wondered what would happen... if a virgin rooster layed a fertilized egg at the top of an infinite staircase?"

"My advice is to make money the old fashioned way (by intercepting Spanish galleons transporting gold from the New World)."

"My doctor advised me to stay away from trans fats. I guess I should really get off Tumblr"