202280

Joke of the Day

"Stupid millennials. Always on their phones. Always doing chatsnaps. Always being born into a world where ownership determines everything."

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"What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock? Politics"
"I bought a new flat last week... I use it as my spare."
"Knock knock. *Knock knock!* *Who's there?* *The pilot, let me in!*"
"My grandpa slept in snow in the Battle of the Bulge & I'm considering throwing out this cup of water bc it has some tiny floaty things in it"
"Dark humor is like food. Not everybody gets it."
"I have two requests for my funeral 1) be scattered at Disney Land 2) not to be cremated"
"What is Stevie Wonder's favorite key to play in? C minor"
"Quit my job a few years ago because my boss was an idiot. Now I'm self-employed. My boss is still an idiot."
"What do you call an Extraterrestrial from Melbourne? An Australien."