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Joke of the Day

"I bought a new flat last week... I use it as my spare."

"Be nice to Canadians, American tweeters. We're going to need somewhere to go after this next election"

"My uncle came out of the closet yesterday. He's not gay. He has Alzheimer's and thought it was the car."

"A man walks into a bar and asks for a Jack & Coke The bartender asks, ""Is Pepsi fine?"" The man says yes. The bartender then pours Pepsi & Coke in a glass."

"Q: What do Clinton and JFK have in common? A: They haven't had any brains for the last thirty years."

"What do termites put on their toast? Door jamb."

"(6-year old brother gave me this one) Why do farts smell? So that deaf people can enjoy them too!"

"Well, if you're going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van."

"Ever been to the restaurant owned by the fundamentalist church? No? Well, if you do go there I don't suggest getting the bible sandwich. They really try to shove it down your throat."

"If life was a video game it would be created by EA Because you have to pay real money inside the game."