202278

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend thinks dressing up as a clown during sex would be weird ... I think it would be fucking ridiculous."

"I just ate a salad that was so bad, Nicolas Cage is starring in a movie about it."

"Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids. Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids, it just made them a different colour."

"John met god and God said ""John come forth and you will receive eternal light"" sadly John came fifth and won a toaster"

"My gym sent me home for following their motto it's confusing, they need to change it to ""go hard and go home"""

"Shopping with girlfriend, she says, ""let's go down this aisle."" Me - K. Why? Her - It's a surprise. Me - K. Why? Her - Just grab that. *points* Me - K. Why? Her - KY. Me - K... Her - Y."

"Jokes about being drunk on Twitter are redundant. Maintaining a Twitter account automatically implies that you're drinking on some level."

"[bankruptcy court] JUDGE: *rubbing bridge of nose* Says here you bought 1000 bouncy castles? ME: *lips on mic* For my kingdom, Your Honor"

"Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? Um looks to me to be backstroke sir"

"I bought a female horse around 10pm What a night mare"