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Joke of the Day

"Jokes about being drunk on Twitter are redundant. Maintaining a Twitter account automatically implies that you're drinking on some level."

"They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said ""My HMO doesn't cover residential treatment."""

"*addresses the elephant in the room* *puts a stamp on the elephant in the room* ""My pen pal is gonna love this."""

"I gave my son some masturbation advice. ""Slow the fuck down, you're going to rip my cock off."" I told him."

"Blue live in New Delhi Blue : One Love... Crowd : Dhadkan Kahe... Blue : ???..."

"is the ultimate american drug watching an entire season of a tv show at once or getting married so you don't have to die alone?"

"What's big, green, fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."

"Just been on a 'once in a lifetime holiday'... ...never again. [/timvine]"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he's not a full ese."

"what does shrek say when he falls off a boat?? if you think the answer is ""ive gone ogreboard!!"" you are sick and twisted & need help"