202231

Joke of the Day

"A good book is like a good puppy. Both are easy to pick up but hard to put down."

"Cutest thing I saw today was the dad angrily slamming the sliding door of his minivan but it slowed down by itself and latched silently"

"I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble."

"Have you ever considered shaving that beard and gluing it to your bald spot? ... Oh! You meant a question about the job position!"

"If you run in front of a car, you get tired. If you run behind a car, you get exhausted."

"I used to be a cleptomaniac but now that I took some medicine I feel much better"

"JESUS: [picks up bread] this is my body JESUS: [picks up wine] this is my blood JESUS: [accidentally picks up his cat] this is my...cat"

"TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask Whoops, wrong sub"

"What is Bruce Lee's favorite beverage? Wataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"What's a pedophiles favorite piece of classical music? Symphony in A Minor"