202212

Joke of the Day

"The baby's trying to eat the poinsettia again Well, maybe we should get rid of it The plant? But we just got it . . .Haha yeah, the plant"

"President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to ""learn what it means to work."" May I suggest the same for members of Congress?"

"[Cruise ship] ""HELP! THIS MAN HAD A HEART ATTACK"" - I think I can help *frantically covers him in all the life vests* cmon do your stuff"

"A suicide bomber, a member of an ethnic minority, my girlfriend, a priest, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender says ""What is this, /r/Jokes?"""

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's still not going to come."

"Ted Cruz, according to the news, IS planning THat Either cruZ Or his aDminIstrAtion will be Compiling their documents to maKe a IntegraL poLitical announcemEnt this afteRnoon [hope you can decrypt it]"

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy."

"So a jewish boy walks into a bar mitzvah"

"Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school? Sounds like he had already done the... time"

"We were at a local restaurant waiting for a server, she finally came over and says ""sorry for the wait"".... I say you look perfectly skinny to me!"