202058

Joke of the Day

"Stephen Hawking's favourite videogame? Flappy birds"

"Body scans and genital fondlings would save more lives if our Government was paying to have them done in hospitals rather than airports."

"What's your mom's favorite seafood resturant? Captain D's Nutz"

"Where do bears go after smoking some weed? Hibearnation"

"The elephant asked the camel: ""Why do you have your breasts on your back?"" The camel, clearly irritated, replies: ""What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face."""

"What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead? A Lou-ouija board."

"Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Bartender says ""Hey Mr. Pirate, ya know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"" Pirate says ""Yarrrrr, it's driving me nuts."""

"Really, Weather Guy? It's gonna be a ""pleasant"" weekend? How about you go to Stacy's baby shower and report back."

"Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today? We would get paid every day, and all women would bleed to death."

"Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding. One said ""What are we going to do?"" The other replied ""Quick turn the car into a side street."""