202031

Joke of the Day

"Having fun with your primary-school friends, a perfectly legal thing to do, before... ...the *age of consent* was invented."

"Cane sugar is the best! It just can't be beet!"

"[marriage counselling] Her: he always thinks he's talking to me on CB radio Me: I don't, over Her: It's over Me: It's what? Over"

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other."

"Gaining weight from drinking so much water? Drink lighter fluid"

"Why do Stormtroopers never laugh? Because they always miss the joke"

"""This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu"" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down"

"I wasn't snoring.. I was dreaming I'm a dirt bike."

"Y'know, Hitler wasn't all that bad... He did kill Hitler after all."