202031

Joke of the Day

"Having fun with your primary-school friends, a perfectly legal thing to do, before... ...the *age of consent* was invented."

"A young woman rolled her eyes towards me, So I picked them up and rolled them back."

"My ex-wife is like a tornado First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog."

"(Season 4 spoilers ) Why did a cock named Oberyn Martell kill the KFC cook? ""You raped her! ! You murdered her! ! You killed her children! !"

"A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table."

"*dad bursts into my room and puts me in a headlock* ""Why didn't you 'Like' the Grumpy Cat meme I posted on Facebook, you son of a bitch?"""

"I've had second thoughts about masturbation... On one hand, it feels great. On the other hand, you don't feel a thing."

"I didn't like my haircut at first... But it's growing on me."

"Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we should go out sometime Me flirting: So do you like bread"

"These Valtrex commercials are confusing... Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?"