201998

Joke of the Day

"My wife is a liar! Last night I texted her and asked here where she was, she said with her sister Emma. I was with her sister Emma!!"

"Sheet manufacturers totally have us by the balls. What are we, not gonna buy sheets?"

"Why can't the bicycle stand on its own ? Because its two tyred"

"The bartender says: ""I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"You know what would be a good name for a cocaine delivery service company? Instagram"

"People who remote lock their car 2 times seriously have trust issues. Personally, I do it 3 times but that's just my OCD."

"[loudly in front of a bunch of ducks] ""OH NO I SEEM TO HAVE BROUGHT TOO MUCH BREAD WITH ME WHATEVER SHALL I DO?"" *ducks try to play it cool*"

"Nazis and the great depression, I get it, Grandpa. But did you have to hear the word 'selfie' every fucking day? Did you?!"

"The act of questioning can be intimidating. Isn't it?"

"I wanted to go to college to be a farmer. But, they didn't have a degree in that field."