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Joke of the Day

"The bartender says: ""I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"My mother-in-law got into a car accident and broke both her legs and arms even god knows what a snake she is"

"Q: Why don't matches play baseball? A: One strike, and they're out."

"Police hunting a man for indecent assault. Applications close next week."

"Kentucky Derby trivia - Why don't female jockeys shave their pussies? They like their fur long! I'll show myself out..."

"I just made myself a sandwich... which, if I'm understanding Twitter law correctly... makes me my own bitch."

"Who's going to lose the upcoming election? Society."

"What do you call a smart ant ? Elegant !"

"Somebody needs to wake up Green Day It's October 1st"

"How to make your ears pop? Try some sparkly earrings."