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Joke of the Day

"The bartender says: ""I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is."

"With great power... ... comes a great electricity bill."

"I like my women like my Asian food: Hot and sweet."

"There was an explosion at a French cheese factory De brie everywhere."

"TALKING TO MY DAUGHTER 7yo: I have an empty snail shell collection. Me: How many do you have? 7yo: Zero. Me: ZERO? 7yo: I said it was empty."

"I just got caught having sex in a church. Needless to say I should have probably waited untill her funeral was over."

"I put an energy drink in my hummingbird feeder, now all my hummingbirds are going back in time and returning with tiny top hats."

"Why did the zombie get a gym membership? Gaaaainsss"

"Q: What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake? A: It's not my fault."