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Joke of the Day

"Nazis and the great depression, I get it, Grandpa. But did you have to hear the word 'selfie' every fucking day? Did you?!"

"How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast? He foamed at the mouth."

"What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables? Stephen Hawking."

"Why are astronauts successful people ? Because they always go up in the world !"

"""Contact Us"" Oh yeah, I'm gonna contact the shit out of you"

"It's the 21st century, people. Why in the world do we still have mornings?"

"A werewolf is chasing you and you are going to die but he's wearing TOMS and you can't stop laughing."

"What the pepper say to the angry chilli? If you don't cool down, I'm going to get jalapeno business"

"Why did Angelina tell Brad to do squats? Because she was tired of a bottomless pitt."

"The NFL has got some messed up rules Kill some dogs, go to jail, then come on back and play. But say the ""N"" word ...... You in big trouble sucka"