20193

Joke of the Day

"Man walks into a doctor's office Doc: Sir, I'm afraid that you have a very serious case of... onomatopoeia Patient: Oh no! is tha- Doc: Yes... it's exactly what it sounds like"

"What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370"

"In my experience, cross-eyed employees are the best deterrent against shoplifting. You just can't be positive that they're not watching."

"Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun."

"A Jewish kid asks his father if he can borrow $30... The father says, ""$30! Do you have any idea how much money $20 is? Where am I going to get $10?"

"You find love when you're not looking for it, and you can't find it when you really want to. It's sh!t like this that makes me drink."

"My feet were killing me yesterday. I bought some in-soles thinking they'd probably do nothing to help. Today I stand corrected."

"Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine? They keep repeating themselves."

"My goldfish died. The good news is I'm inheriting a tiny treasure chest."

"person is typing person is typing person is typing person is typing person is typing person is typing person is typing person: hi"