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Joke of the Day

"What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370"

"""What about this? What about this? And this?""--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer."

"What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream!"

"Retweet if you're naughty! Star if you love Jesus! Reply if you'd like to meet him!"

"I was going to tell a joke about a vacuum But I realized it sucked."

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing..."

"Why did the zoo close the big cat exhibit? Because they just kept lion around!"

"Just found out I've been eating women's energy bars for the past few months. No side effects except making 30% less money than I used to"

"Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on."

"What's the difference between a dirty old bus station and a lobster with boobs? One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."