201919

Joke of the Day

"My boss was all, ""Do you know why I called you to the office, "" and I was like, ""I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."""

"A friend of mine told me that sex after a vasectomy would hurt. But to be honest I haven't noticed a vas deferens."

"Why wasn't Rome built in a day? Because it was a government job."

"I'm dating a supermodel with hemiparesis. She's not half-bad."

"Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft."

"How can you spot a Jewish Pedofile? He's the guy in the creepy van rolling up to kids and asking ""Hey kids, you want to buy some candy?"""

"Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies"

"A Roman walks into a bar... He says ""I'd like a martinus,"" the bartender replies ""don't you mean a martini?"", the Roman replies ""if I wanted a double I'd have asked for one.'"

"Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? A PDF file."