201714

Joke of the Day

"Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear? It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear"

"Ever had Ethiopian food? Well, neither have they! Seriously though, donate if you can. https://donate.feedthechildren.org"

"Why does Santa come only once a year? (Its not the chimney one) Because it's all his sack can handle"

"why was the hipster hurt by the light bulb ? He changed it before it was cool."

"How does a Jew do the gardening? He moses lawn."

"How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They glow in the dark."

"Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House? So she can be pardoned."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? The golfer goes: thwack.... ""Oh fuck""."

"Everyone ready for the election? I'm still looking for the right bridge, any suggestions?"

"Why do robots never cuddle after sex? Because all a robot does is nuts and bolts."