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Joke of the Day

"What Do You Call a Rabbit with a Crooked Dick? Fucks Funny"

"99% of the world can't count. I'm just glad I'm part of the other 4%."

"If you see a swarm of jellyfish, DO NOT enter the ocean. It's a no-brainer."

"I don't know what is more nerve wrecking... this first kiss or the first fart."

"Her: 'Do I look, like, fat?' Brain: no,no,no,no Brain: Of course not. Brain: Say SOMETHING Mouth: 'Like a fat what?' Brain: Oh dear God"

"What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity? Damn, son. It's about time!"

"There's a book about how the Roman Emperor Augustus was really buff and into weightlifting... It's called *The Guns of Augustus*"

"A dslexic man walked into a bra. His wife's washing was hanging out to dry and he wasn't looking where he was going. The man's dyslexia was admittedly pretty irrelevant to the event."

"They should invent an alarm clock that if you hit the snooze button more than 3 times it automatically calls in sick for you."

"Drake jokes I'll start: Drake the type of dude to stare at the biggest dude in jail directly in the eyes then SLAM the soap on the bathroom floor."