20170

Joke of the Day

"A guy goes to his doctor, and the doctor tells him, ""You've got to stop masturbating."" And the guy's like, ""Wait, why?"" The doctor reploes, ""So I can examine you."""

"What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder? I've heard of it but don't know what it means?"

"What do you call a hippie astronaut? A far out man"

"What is the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on"

"The Quran is like weed If you burn it you get stoned."

"What do you call a booger that you've been squishing for awhile? Boograr"

"Why are elephants large grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white they would be aspirins."

"I was worried because I heard a beep and didn't know if it was my cell, iPod, Wii, Skype, Facebook, email, Twitter or TV. Thank God it was just the fire alarm."

"I have a lot of road rage. FUCK ROADS!!!"

"What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up."