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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about the award winning farmer? Apparently he was outstanding in his field. [modified repost]"

"So I'm having sexy times With my girl when I stop and hold perfectly still. She asks ""what are you doing?"" I say ""it's a new move I learned on the Internet, it's called buffering!"""

"What's so fragile that even mentioning it breaks it? The male ego."

"Last week I was with a midget prostitute. I payed her $20 to go up on me."

"What did one hat say to the other? ""You stay here, I'll go on ahead...."""

"I was going to post that I'm in Nebraska but Foursquare didn't have the location ""Someone shoot me in the face"" listed."

"I'm never marrying anyone else that I find on craigslist."

"What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot? A Walkie Talkie"

"I always heard it was OK to date a nun... as long as you don't get into the habit."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? License and registration, please. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Sir, please stop shouting and step out of the vehicle."