201695
Joke of the Day
"How do dogs enjoy sex? They like it ruff."
Next Joke
"This is your captain speaking... **AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!**"
"Ive got an idea for a Halloween party costume... I'll go only in my pants so when people ask what I'm whereing I'll say, "" Im premature ejaculation, so I just came in my pants."""
"""Wow, I haven't showered since last year!"" ""Haha good one, but it's not the new year yet"" ""I know..."""
"Warning: Alcohol may make people appear more fcukable than they actually are."
"Yo mamma so ugly When one direction saw her they went in the other direction"
"When a guy wearing cargo pants hits on me I'm tempted to go out with him just to see how many of my belongings I can fit into his pockets."
"What is the favorite sports team at the twin towers? The Jets"
"When telling jokes to identical twins make sure you tell them the whole joke ........ because you just can't tell them a part."
"Past employers have described me as ""selfish, egotistic, condescending, the physical manifestation of capitalism, and a true sweetheart."""