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Joke of the Day

"When telling jokes to identical twins make sure you tell them the whole joke ........ because you just can't tell them a part."

Next Joke
 
"[Next door dog barking] Me: *inserts earpugs* [Barking intensifies] Me: wtf................haha oh *removes earpugs and inserts earplugs*"
"guys calm down squirrels invented parkour"
"Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius! "
"""We will never forget."" Of course not, we're brainwashed and controlled by fear."
"Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do."
"How does a crazy person travel through the woods? They take the psychopath."
"My quantum milkshake machine brings every boy to all yards."
"How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? Fuck that. It's the nurse's job."
"You should need a license to be that ugly."