201689
Joke of the Day
"Umbrage is like regular brage, but um..."
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"""that's me in the corner."" - r.e.m. explaining how facetime works"
"What is black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee, you racist."
"""Hello, barman? Give me another drink!"" I yelled. He said, ""I think you've had enough, sir."" ""What makes you say that?"" I laughed. He said, ""I'm a taxi driver."""
"What if Rob Lowe robbed Lowes? Just imagine the crazy headlines. They'd probably say something like... ""Rob Lowe Robs Lowes"""
"Flash floods in Arizona last night. We nominate California and Texas. #ALSIceBucketChallenge"
"What's a barista in France's favorite workout? A French press"
"If you love someone, poison them a little bit each day. If they don't suspect you at all, they might be the ONE."
"Boss: You can't drink while you're working! Me: Oh, I'm not working."
"A granny comes to see a doctor - and the doctor is a granny too."