201568

Joke of the Day

"I saw a lizard and it became a spotted lizard"

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot."

"I'll never forget what my grandmother said to me right before she passed away. She said to me *""What are you doing?!?""*"

"What do you call a bread that's not too bright? a dimwheat"

"Q: What do teddy bears like to have in their houses? A: Fur-niture."

"Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when it rains."

"Anybody have plans to stare at their phone someplace exciting this weekend?"

"My girlfriend dreamt that I slept with her friend... So I tried to reassure her. I said, ""Baby. Please. That's crazy - I have never slept with your friend. Trust me, you've never even met the girl""."

"I just watched two mice screwing in a lightbulb But for the life of me, I can't figure out how they got in there."

"Overly Polite Twins Why were the overly polite twins almost never born? ""After you."" ""No, after you."""