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Joke of the Day

"""Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?"" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then."

"went to kiss a girl last night and her eyes rolled back and her head floated off her shoulders body burst into flames i am a bad kisser"

"What do 9/10 people love? Gangrape."

"What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley"

"Why do they put cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people they were slaves before they became drug dealers."

"How Can Athiests Make Money and Get Free Food? By working at an abortion clinic."

"Where do you find monster snails? On the end of monsters fingers."

"I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact."

"What's the difference between au jus and a jew? Au jus is boiled but a jew is baked."

"What do poor people drink? Pover-tea."