10560

Joke of the Day

"What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley"

"I wish there was a way to tell if this guy is being nice to me because he likes me or if it's just because he's Canadian."

"When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President."

"There's a secret menu item at McDonald's but you can't order it, you can only get it by acting like a jerk. (Cheeseburger wiped on shoe)"

"What do you get when OP gets erections? QR"

"What happened to the runny nose... it tripped and fell. Now it's all boogered up."

"Me: There has to be a way I can lose weight! Friend: Eat healthy? Exercise? Me: No, that's not it. Keep thinking! We'll figure this out."

"Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship? They need space."

"I wish my car could put its hands in its pockets and whistle when I drive by a cop."

"What are Isreali candies known for? A jewy center"