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Joke of the Day

"Is it ok to hate a certain race? I am fine with 5km races but marathons just do my head in."

"Things to get done: Make coffee, Drive a train high on cocaine, Rent a lion to eat my neighbor's dog, clean up mess from that lion thing."

"You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts."

"What is the only feeling that's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one."

"I just signed up for Comcast!"

"Why Twitter deleted so many terrorist accounts recently? Otherwise they'd kill all the 140 characters."

"I told my girlfriend to prepare to seek immediate medical help. Because she was about to experience an erection lasting longer than four hours."

"If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a prostitute? The looks on their faces while you're nailing them."

"Dustin Diamond aka 'Screech' arrested for bar stabbing... Will he be, '""Saved by the Bail""?"