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Joke of the Day

"""I love watching myself in the mirror while I shoot dope."" Said Tom in vain."

"To those out there who have accused me of selling out, of abandoning my beliefs and values to climb the social ladder: uh... yeah. yes."

"Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? Neither did he."

"Why are there so many female archeologists? Because women love digging up the past."

"[In elevator] Penguin: what floor do you want? Man: 5th please. *penguin accidentally slaps all the buttons with his fin*"

"The best thing about being over 25 is that no one can find embarrassing Youtube videos of you as a kid."

"What did the dog say after a hard day at work ? ""Today sure was ruff"" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P"

"Damn girl, are you an octagon? Cause there's like 8 different sides to you."

"Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing."