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Joke of the Day

"I know a husband and wife who were happy for a very long time and then they met."

"Did you hear about that synthetic type of weed they made using dog hair? Instead of k2, they call it k9."

"I think I'm uglier with my glasses on but I'm uglier with contacts in, too."

"I want to die like my father; sleeping in peace ... Not like his passengers; screaming in fear."

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."

"You know you're married when you find her sexier with clothes on."

"It's tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban."

"What does a goose do What can a goose do, that a duck can't, and that your lawyer should ? Stick his bill up his ass."

"I treat my body like a temple. By that I mean that a bunch of Jewish guys enter me every Friday night."

"Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a snail trail"