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Joke of the Day

"trump is putting everyone who works at goldman sachs in the government so that there's no one left to run GS and they go out of business"

"Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop."

"Dirty Catholic Priest jokes are getting old. So we know one demographic who won't like them any more at least."

"An Asian boy come home from the doctor and he tells his dad... Son: Dad the doctor said I'm allergic to bees Dad: That good, now you can only get A"

"How is 2+2=5 like your left foot? It's not right."

"Autocorrect just changed ""what are your plans"" to ""plants"". Yes autocorrect, I'm curious if they're growing roses or sunflowers?"

"Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over."

"My dad taught me to swim by rowing me to the middle of a lake and tossing me overboard... It was pretty easy once I got out of the bag!"

"How do subscribers of r/jokes like their ribs? Tickled."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... unless you have muscular dystrophy, in which case you most certainly will not."