201216

Joke of the Day

"Hey kids, don't forget to look both ways before getting hit by a car."

"At least once in our life, we all have tried to balance the light switch in between the on and off position."

"What do you call a bikini clad conspiracy theorist? An illumi-hotty!"

"How do you circumcise a Texan? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open."

"Thanks to Twitter, I can't go anywhere without my mobile. Quick question. Do I take this man to be my lawfully wedded husband?"

"Did you hear what happened when the Pope went to mount Olive? Popeye beat the shit out of him."

"Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive."

"Why didn't the man go under the boardwalk? He doesn't like giving in to pier pressure."

"What do 9 out of 10 people consider a good time? Gang rape."