201170

Joke of the Day

"TEN>NINE Doctor:"" I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient : ""What do you mean by 10?10 what?Months?Weeks?"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"I try to avoid buying into this ""Americans are stupid"" stereotype but, for fuck's sake......"

"Standing closer to me in line right up my ass will not make it go faster. Back the fuck up you faggott"

"A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man... The Jewish man says ""Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"" The Asian man says ""Well at least I can see my grandparents."""

"If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on."

"Dark humour is like food Some people just don't get it"

"the best thing about hair glitter is that you don't have to use it"

"How is today Monday? It was Friday only a few hours ago..."

"I told a joke in lit class and got crickets So my teacher was telling us about a class she took. ""I took a really epic class on Falkner."" and I responded ""not as epic as a class I took on Homer."""

"I'll never forget the day I said ""Ride down this hill"" and became the greatest bobsled coach in Olympic history."