201020

Joke of the Day

"What did the cow say to the masked robber? Moo."

"[becomes allergic to the floor midway through a date & slowly floats out of a window]"

"What's white on bottom and black on top? Rape."

"How Can Numbers Be Real If Our i's Aren't Real"

"So I was standing in the toilet queue at my high school ball. I was wondering why there were also women waiting in the same line so I asked the guy in front of me. ""This is the punchline."""

"This is my best knock-knock joke *""Knock Knock""* ""Who's there"" *""Whoo""* ""Whoo-hoo"" *""Happy to see me?""*"

"What is it that's made backwards? Edam"

"My neighbor won't give me a straightforward answer, he's always beating around the bush. Every time I ask why he just says ""fuck you Gerald, it's my bush and I'll masturbate here if I want to"""

"Weird scene in The Hobbit where Peter Jackson walks through the middle of the set and takes a 45-minute shit with the door open."

"I almost got hit by a car today, but due to a swift maneuver I was able to not get hit. It was a Dodge."