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Joke of the Day

"So I was standing in the toilet queue at my high school ball. I was wondering why there were also women waiting in the same line so I asked the guy in front of me. ""This is the punchline."""

"[looks over neighbour's fence while he's in the pool] ""Dude, we get it. You can hold your breath for [looks at watch] 19 days."""

"Had to be a woman that coined the phrase ""severance package."" No guy is putting those two words so close to each other."

"Cop: [knocks] Dinosaur: can I help you? Cop: we've had reports of small arms fire [Flaming T-Rex runs past screaming]"

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear!"

"Reporter: Tell me about him Neighbor: He was so nice, sweet, friendly, funny R: Do you think he killed those people? N: Oh, yeah absolutely."

"so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement"

"If humans have politics, then what do bees have? POLLENtics"

"Men get frustrated because they don't understand how women think. Women get frustrated because they understand how men think."

"I like dating chicks with kids, because snacks"