20100

Joke of the Day

"""Git yer cotton pickin hands off a my gin."" -Eli Whitney"

"Did you hear about the anesthesiologist with giant breasts? She's a knockout."

"What's the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? About 2 inches."

"a beer at yankee stadium is like a monthly mortgage payment in any other state"

"Just as bugs are drawn to bright lights, so are my toes drawn inexplicably to hard objects."

"Be sure to take the time to honor a soldier today by punching a politician in the face."

"The most disappointing moment of my adult life was when I found out a vaporizer is an e-cigarette and not a death ray that vaporizes people."

"I wonder if Buzz and woody had ever met Andy's mom's toys. They probably have the same names"

"Guys, I know we're 3 days from Inauguration Day... But here's how Bernie Sanders can still win!"

"How do you make estrogen? Don't pay her."