20097

Joke of the Day

"Fitness friend: Do you know what you're putting in your body? *flashes back to ex *shudders"

"The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun."

"I built an electric fence around my house. My neighbour is dead against it."

"WIFE:Someone's broken in ME *grabs baseball bat*Wait here [downstairs] PAL:Can't u just tell her u wanna play baseball M: Keep ur voice down"

"I still see some of my ex-girlfriends. Well, not so much see, more like...watch."

"What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home."

"I hate when I find a show on TV that I like and I start to get into it and then I realize that it's my neighbor's window and he looks angry."

"I hurt my knee the other day... ...but I'm not sure if it was my low knee or my high knee."

"Today I watched a donkey look both ways before crossing the street... ... he was a smart ass."

"What stops rape every time? Consent"