20088

Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side..."

"Met with a girl on tinder, Turns out her eyes were on her elbows instead of her face. She looked different than I thought she would."

"Dave is coming over. Dave from work or loud and obvious Dave? Outside: THIS RAIN HAS MADE ME WET. I AM WEARING PANTS. MY EYES ARE BLINKING."

"Boyfriend: You know you can..... Boyfriend: You know you can be a real bitch. Girlfriend: I have been called worse. Boyfriend: Like what? Girlfriend: Your girlfriend!"

"Found the battery for your mom's dildo. http://imgur.com/XBmHG7I. C size for scale."

"Which course did Hillary Clinton select when playing Mario Kart? The short circuit"

"What happens if you pass gas in church? You have to sit in your own pew."

"Why did the blonde stare at the Ford? It said Focus."

"What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito? A mosquito can ""fly"", but a fly can not ""mosquito""."

"Ever read a book or see a film that touches you so deeply it changes your whole worldview? I just took a shit like that."