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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just got mad and accused me of stalking her. Well, she's not actually my girlfriend yet."

"Best advice for men about women Never try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other."

"I told my mum I was goingto make a car out of spaghetti She was really surprised when I drove pasta"

"Why are they rioting in Ferguson? Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done."

"Her pussy was such the color purple Oprah winfrey starred as the clit"

"Your mama is so ugly that... when she has sexual relations with an animal, it's not beastiality, it's animal cruelty."

"Detroit is a such a dangerous city... You can't even let your kids out at night. The might rob someone."

"I like my coffee how I like my ladies Strong, black, and preferably fair trade"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee? Because he was drinking it before it was cool"

"An Italian man with spells of amnesia goes into a boutique coffee shop... The barista asked what he wants, and he replies ""Affogato""."