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Joke of the Day

"An Italian man with spells of amnesia goes into a boutique coffee shop... The barista asked what he wants, and he replies ""Affogato""."

"When I was a child, I loved astronomy and I actually saw Orion's belt many times. My Dad's nickname was Orion and he used to beat the shit out of me because I didn't like sports."

"Q: How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: What ? Go all the way up there and come back empty ? You must be jokin' mate !"

"My niece thinks she's more mature than me because she listens to Beethoven. His movies sucked plus why would I wanna listen to dog music?"

"What's the same between Brussel sprouts and anal sex? If you enjoy it as as an adult you hated it as a kid"

"Why did Donald Trump defend the size of his dick? Cuz he's gonna use it to fuck the Republican party."

"Bacon, Eggs, and Toast walk into a bar. . . The bartender yells, ""Get the hell out of here! We don't serve breakfast!"""

"""We suspect you may have inability to vocalise emotion disease"" ""I can't say I'm surprised"" *doc strokes beard* ""Hmm yes.Just as we thought"""

"What childhood game are orphans not aloud to play? House."

"Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad."