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Joke of the Day

"Children are like farts... ...You can only tolerate your owns"

"My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances. Well she's in for a shock."

"What do you call a Syrian sex toy? A blowup doll"

"I decided to put certified SCUBA diver on my resume. That way they know I can handle intense pressure on the job."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster... ... But it didn't."

"I'd make an excellent cavewoman because I can finger paint and light fires."

"I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?"

"Captain Hook hated Paper Scissors Rock since he could only play Question Mark, which had no value in the game."

"Josh Gordon sold his first car the other day... (xpost r/nflcirclejerk) it was a beater he sold to Ray Rice."

"What car does a Mexican drive? A Quebrolet."