200750

Joke of the Day

"With only one plug in this hospital room it's not looking good for Nana's respirator if my phone battery dies and I have a good tweet."

"What is Hitler's least favourite Christmas song? All I Want From Christmas Is Jew"

"May I hold your baby? May I throw her across the room into that pile of empty boxes? Okay, I'll just hold her then."

"Hi guys it's my first time to post on reddit, what should i do?"

"These two blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it."

"[Ouija board in Starbucks] ""Speak to me spirits"" O M G H A V E U S E E N W H A T K R I S T Y I S W E A R I N G G R O S S"

"How do priests make holy water? They bless the hell out of it."

"My Grandmother recently passed away and left me everything in her will. I guess you could say that I'm Grammy nominated."

"whoever decided how to spell camouflage is a terrible terrible person"

"What do you do when your lawnmower stops working? Deport him"