200705

Joke of the Day

"I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from. Then it dawned on me."

"What did the blonde Buddhist say when she finished her 88th prayer? ""I literally chant even..."""

"A man clicks on a post in /r/jokes... I'm watching you."

"I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said ""WHERE""?"

"How did you find the weather at camp? It was easy. I just went outside - and there it was!"

"[trial] Judge: how do you plead? ""not guilty"" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. ""he asked me to make him a pancake"""

"Decaf only works if you throw it on people."

"[arguing with my wife] WELL AT LEAST I DON'T BRING UP THINGS FROM THE PAST LIKE YOU DID LAST MONTH"

"What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist? Willing suspension of disbelief"

"I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see."