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Joke of the Day

"I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see."

"How does every racist joke start? *looks around the room*"

"Whats a fly without wings? A walk"

"What do a pirate wench and an alcoholic have in common? They've both got a little Captain in them."

"I love those lanes at the store where you can just bag your groceries, make some beep-boop noises and walk out without paying."

"It's not condescending if they're stupid."

"I had dream that I really had to take piss When I woke up I had peed myself. Thats when I relised... dreams really do come true"

"a serial killer that targets anyone who pronounces the ""S"" in Illinois"

"In my defense, they should have been more specific about which part of the restaurant I was supposed to ""Drive Thru"""

"How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh? It weighs *Won-ton*"