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Joke of the Day
"Life is like a box of chocolates... ... it doesn't last long for fat people."
Next Joke
"Instead of neutering my dog I just make him wear crocs."
"Yo Mama So Poor.... She can't afford to fly off the handle, when she gets mad, she has to greyhound off the handle."
"Kevin, children are allowed to order pizzas. You don't have to make the delivery guy think he's being shot at by gangsters. For christ sake."
"What do you call a smiley face if someone uses it that lives in an igloo? An Eskimoji"
"Cute girl: omg I love this bread [At the next table] Jesus: [loudly, holding up a slice of bread] so this is my body"
"I'm going to a Pearl Harbor Day party later on. I'm totally going to get bombed! *Now... give me your downvotes... yes, I feed upon your scorn!*"
"Someone asked me the other day whole my favorite superhero is... I said that I thought iceman was pretty cool"
"What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? A last name"
"How do you think the unthinkable? With an ithberg."