745

Joke of the Day

"Cute girl: omg I love this bread [At the next table] Jesus: [loudly, holding up a slice of bread] so this is my body"

"I finally admitted to my girlfriend, ""I think I struggle with gender issues... ...because whenever I see you girl, I realize I wanna be inside a woman's body."""

"Don't believe that bullshit. Failure is ALWAYS an option."

"HER: I love sweater weather ME: *holding up an umbrella to protect us from falling sweaters* It's that time of year again already?!"

"What do you call someone who like massages but hates women? A massagynist"

"I just paid $4,000 to have a skywriter write ""Actually, Vanessa, YOU'RE the one who's being 'dramatic'."""

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money i make Then they call me ugly and poor."

"Scientists have created a cotton plant resistant to boll weevils. When asked about it, they replied, ""It's unbollweevible."""

"Did you hear that the guy who invented predictive text has died. His funfair is next sundial."

"Why won't Goldilocks drink a glass of water with eight pieces of ice in it? It's two cubed! :)"